WTFMODELS?

Mikayla ran away from home when she was only 19. Raised by...

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 19:29:50 -0400

Mikayla ran away from home when she was only 19. Raised by wolves for about a week, she now refuses to walk upright at all. She peed on our floor shortly after this was taken.

Pamela didn’t know what was worse: the fact that she had...

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:39:00 -0400

Pamela didn’t know what was worse: the fact that she had mistaken the dollhouse prop for the set, or the fact that this wasn’t the first time she’d done that.

We usually don’t devote so much time and energy to our...

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:41:38 -0400

We usually don’t devote so much time and energy to our photo shoots, but Judith showed up and insisted that we did things her way. Personally it didn’t really make sense and was all a little too artsy for my tastes, but what do I know? I’ve only been selling these anal beads for fifteen years.

I don’t care that this is an ID photo for my temp job at a...

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 11:30:00 -0400

I don’t care that this is an ID photo for my temp job at a doorknob factory, okay.

I’m a model — an artist — and just because a two-bit hack like you can’t recognize talent doesn’t mean that I should “smile into the camera” like some moron.

Now take the picture.

None of us were quite sure how to tell Pauline about her...

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 10:44:56 -0400

None of us were quite sure how to tell Pauline about her dandruff problem.

Suzette, going to first base with yourself won’t make you...

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:35:00 -0400

Suzette, going to first base with yourself won’t make you look any less of a tranny mess.

Wendell was so desperate to be discovered, he’d taken to...

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:16:00 -0400

Wendell was so desperate to be discovered, he’d taken to bicycling nude through landscape shots.

He’d be able to pay off the lawsuits once he was famous.

Deeeeear Diary, After camouflaging myself in David’s...

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:39:33 -0400

Deeeeear Diary,

After camouflaging myself in David’s bedsheets, I’m hoping to surprise him by popping the question, “Put it in my butt?”

Ninth times the charm!

Daphne was running out of ways to stop the Feds from looking for...

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 21:47:43 -0400

Daphne was running out of ways to stop the Feds from looking for the pile of corpses behind the curtain.

She never thought she’d have to say this again, but a carefully-placed vagina was her only hope.

Bianca had put a lot of thought into the outfit she wore when...

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 13:04:03 -0400

Bianca had put a lot of thought into the outfit she wore when she stood on her Louis Vuitton luggage on the runway at Laguardia.

She really wanted to give Wesley one last look at the fine ass he’d never get back.

Fucking asshole.

Let’s say after a few drinks, those fat trannies looked...

Fri, 29 May 2009 09:41:00 -0400

Let’s say after a few drinks, those fat trannies looked like beautiful models. And you…er… your friend, Yanni, he takes them home to his lush 1 bedroom/2 bath suite and makes love to them on his red satin sheets he picked up from K-Mart cause Target was too expensive, and made love to them over and over.

That’s… that’s not gay. Cause remember how he thought… how he thought they were women! So it’s like. It’s ok and stuff, right? Cause… cause he thought… that they were women. Like, maybe it came across his mind they were men, but like, only for like A SECOND. Like seriously, the thought left as soon as it came. And it came back later, too, when he could only find one hole, but he pushed it back, far back into his mind. So they were mostly women for most of the time. That’s not gay.

Margot felt bad for slipping the quintuplets all of that...

Thu, 28 May 2009 15:21:30 -0400

Margot felt bad for slipping the quintuplets all of that ecstasy, but Jillian really needed help with her Social Studies diorama.

Alice and Alex had a hard time convincing their classmates that...

Mon, 25 May 2009 13:10:37 -0400

Alice and Alex had a hard time convincing their classmates that they weren’t sluts when photos of them grinding on a Hispanic construction worker in a back alley surfaced on the net. You don’t even wanna see the video that follows.

Cordelia had a choice to make: take off her luxurious mink...

Sun, 24 May 2009 01:38:00 -0400

Cordelia had a choice to make: take off her luxurious mink helmet and survive, or leave it on and wander the desert following mirages until she died of dehydration and heat stroke.

She chose death.

Cult euthanasia is really in right now. It’s very chic.

Wed, 20 May 2009 18:41:00 -0400

Cult euthanasia is really in right now. It’s very chic.

Harriet had been tired of suburbia for a while, but her lack of...

Tue, 19 May 2009 21:44:18 -0400

Harriet had been tired of suburbia for a while, but her lack of friends made it difficult to push the shopping cart into water deep enough for the profound, symbolic suicide she had always envisioned.

We didn’t have the heart to tell Carol that we had been...

Sat, 16 May 2009 16:12:03 -0400

We didn’t have the heart to tell Carol that we had been making fun of her when we said she should get headshots.

We also didn’t have the heart to tell her that UGGs are fucking over.

Or that her skirt was ugly.

Or that we were only friends with her because we have a diversity quota in the sorority.

She fucking fell like three seconds after this was taken.

It was hilarious.

After dragging the ox carcass into bed with her and positioning...

Wed, 13 May 2009 22:49:28 -0400

After dragging the ox carcass into bed with her and positioning the fox head just so, Libby settled in for a long night of explicit beastiality.

Lady GaGa took a shot at being a model in the early 00’s,...

Tue, 12 May 2009 01:37:28 -0400

Lady GaGa took a shot at being a model in the early 00’s, until the photographer informed her that her face resembled a pile of mashed potatoes that got fucked by a pig. Her natural reaction was to buy clip on bangs and bug eye shades to cover up as much face as possible, and sing about “just dance” ing, which is the equivalent to an ugly girl’s self esteem anthem.

Igor thought the shoot for his real estate billboard was going...

Sun, 10 May 2009 13:43:00 -0400

Igor thought the shoot for his real estate billboard was going well.

“If you find an agent with a lower price, he’ll gore them.”