WTFMODELS?

Let’s say after a few drinks, those fat trannies looked like beautiful models. And you…er… your friend, Yanni, he takes them home to his lush 1 bedroom/2 bath suite and makes love to them on his red satin sheets he picked up from K-Mart cause Target was too expensive, and made love to them over and over.

That’s… that’s not gay. Cause remember how he thought… how he thought they were women! So it’s like. It’s ok and stuff, right? Cause… cause he thought… that they were women. Like, maybe it came across his mind they were men, but like, only for like A SECOND. Like seriously, the thought left as soon as it came. And it came back later, too, when he could only find one hole, but he pushed it back, far back into his mind. So they were mostly women for most of the time. That’s not gay.

Margot felt bad for slipping the quintuplets all of that ecstasy, but Jillian really needed help with her Social Studies diorama.

Alice and Alex had a hard time convincing their classmates that they weren’t sluts when photos of them grinding on a Hispanic construction worker in a back alley surfaced on the net. You don’t even wanna see the video that follows.

Cordelia had a choice to make: take off her luxurious mink helmet and survive, or leave it on and wander the desert following mirages until she died of dehydration and heat stroke.

She chose death. 

Cult euthanasia is really in right now. It’s very chic.

Harriet had been tired of suburbia for a while, but her lack of friends made it difficult to push the shopping cart into water deep enough for the profound, symbolic suicide she had always envisioned.

We didn’t have the heart to tell Carol that we had been making fun of her when we said she should get headshots.

We also didn’t have the heart to tell her that UGGs are fucking over. 

Or that her skirt was ugly.

Or that we were only friends with her because we have a diversity quota in the sorority.

She fucking fell like three seconds after this was taken.

It was hilarious.

After dragging the ox carcass into bed with her and positioning the fox head just so, Libby settled in for a long night of explicit beastiality.

Lady GaGa took a shot at being a model in the early 00’s, until the photographer informed her that her face resembled a pile of mashed potatoes that got fucked by a pig. Her natural reaction was to buy clip on bangs and bug eye shades to cover up as much face as possible, and sing about “just dance” ing, which is the equivalent to an ugly girl’s self esteem anthem.

Igor thought the shoot for his real estate billboard was going well.

“If you find an agent with a lower price, he’ll gore them.”